A woman explains how positivity helped her overcome trials of single motherhood

Wilawan Onkham said she and her first son’s father split up when the boy was a little over two years old. Her ex only agreed to cover half of the boy’s expenses.

By the time her son was about four, she was pregnant again, and this time she had to bear all the expenses.

A year earlier, Wilawan had been told by his kindergarten teacher that he was a slow learner. Though unconvinced, she decided to quit her full-time job as a TV series producer to focus on her son and give him home-schooling. By then, she was burdened with a debt of about 1 million baht.

“This decision was not easy, but my goal was to give my child a good future,” she said.

She took her boy everywhere, but when she had to attend work meetings, she left him under the care of staff at a bookstore nearby.

The young mother taught her son to read and solve easy sums. She also encouraged him to watch cartoons in both Thai and English.

Wilawan said that by the time her eldest had turned four, he was able to read books meant for first-graders.

When he was five, he was admitted to Kasetsart University Laboratory School after passing his entrance exams with flying colours.

The young mother said she believes in the power of positivity, as that has helped her tackle the problems of being a single mother.

“I see my children as my hopes and dreams, it gives me power when I see them happy. A mother’s love for her children is unconditional. Mothers are willing to sacrifice everything for their children,” she said.

For her, being a single mother is not an imperfection but rather a good opportunity to raise good humans.

“I want to tell fellow single mothers to not see themselves as inferior. As single mothers, we can devote more time and energy to our children, and give them a strong foundation. We can also fill them with positive energy,” she said.

Wilawan’s two boys are four years apart, and though they have different fathers, they are both close. The boys are with her during weekdays, and with their respective fathers during the weekends.

“I feel good that the boys understand me. My failed relationships do not seem to be an issue for them. This is what makes me proud of my children,” she said.

Her youngest boy is now studying in Grade 9 at Kasetsart University Laboratory School, while her eldest is a first-year architecture student at King Mongkut’s Institute of Technology Ladkrabang.

The eldest boy is fluent in English and Japanese, in addition to Thai. He recently won top marks in a national Japanese writing test and plans to further his studies in Japan, Wilawan said.

Thailand has approximately 1.5 million single parents, accounting for 7% of all families in the country. An online platform has been created to help single mothers deal with stress and health issues stemming from raising children alone.

The “Hua-ok Diew Kan” (In the Same Boat) platform, which is part of the HealthTech X project, offers lessons on dealing with stress, improving their relations with children and managing time, Worachai Yatyu, a member of the platform’s online group-sharing team, said.

More information can be obtained on the Toolmorrow Facebook page.