On the BTS, some folks prefer to be cruel to be kind

The Singapore Kindness Movement, which is all geared up for Random Acts of Kindness Day on May 20, had better stay clear of Bangkok. Around here we don’t take kindly to people acting kindly.

Discussion on the social media this week about how best to spend the day – when everybody is supposed to be particular nice to one another – ignited a firestorm. The spark came from a handful who seem especially incensed about having to relinquish their seats on the Skytain and subway to pregnant fellow commuters.

“Why do some passengers ask you to give up your seat for a pregnant woman?” a non-pregnant woman commented on Pantip.com in a post that went viral, as these things inevitably do. “My ride from Bearing to Mor Chit takes almost 40 minutes and if I had to stand that long I’d be exhausted. A pregnant woman isn’t like a patient in hospital or anything, so why can’t she stand like everyone else? 

“If people are playing with their mobile phones or fall asleep on the BTS and don’t give up their seat to a pregnant woman, that’s okay. So why does everyone else get criticised so harshly? They have the right to do what they like as long as it doesn’t violate anyone else’s rights.”

Darn right, someone else piped in. “Why don’t pregnant women get a taxi if they think it’s risky or too hard standing on the train?”

A man asked why men are always the first ones asked to give up their seats. “People blame us first if we don’t offer our seats to pregnant women. I don’t know why I have to give up my seat for five minutes worth of admiration and then everybody forgets it. Some of the women don’t even say thank you. So what benefit do I get from doing this so-called good deed?”

The backlash to this sort of comment became so heated that the Pantip administrator eventually yanked the whole thing offline, but not before some users argued the point well. 

“Pregnant women should politely ask able persons sitting in priority seats to give them up,” one suggested. “Sometimes people are too busy reading, but it’s not rude to let them know those seats are reserved for the elderly and infirm.

“If you see children or pregnant, elderly or disabled passengers, offer them your seat as an act of kindness – it makes society a better place to live in.”

A mum-to-be said she feels “vulnerable” boarding public transport. “Some people look at my baby bump as if I have a contagious disease!”

Another said she’s five months pregnant and is rarely offered a seat on the BTS. “Nobody cares. This is my second pregnancy, but I’ve never expected people to give up their seats. I don’t blame them for wanting to sit comfortably all the way to their destinations, but it’s hard keeping your balance on a moving train. I tell everyone in my family to be kind to others so there’ll be more kind people in this city.”