Bows as feminine expression or sexualisation?

Ribbons have been used since before the 11th century for holding objects together. In the 21st century, however, the use of ribbons has expanded to serve decorative purposes. Its presence has had a foothold in the fashion industry ever since.

The use of ribbon has taken on a life of its own, covering a wide range of metaphorical meaning. Pink ribbon, for example, is used as the symbol of breast cancer awareness–to show support to those fighting breast cancer and remember those who have passed away.

Serving various purposes, ribbons and bows have always appeared here and there. But pink bows seem to significantly roam Pinterest boards starting in early 2023. Bow stacking–the practice of incorporating bows in one’s outfit–has been announced by Pinterest as one of the “2024 Pinterest Predicts” with the accompanying information showing that the phrase “bow outfit” had 190% more searches in the past year.

In Thailand, young Thais are familiar with this bow trend as the “Vietnamese bow”. The arrival of Vietnamese fashion in Thailand started last year with loads of bows considered as one of the main features of Vietnamese fashion.

But since when do we start wrapping pink ribbon and making a bow on our cereal and pouring milk over it? This bow-filled atmosphere leads to what is called the “coquette” bow trend. But what does it mean?

According to Cambridge Dictionary, Coquette comes from the French word ‘coquette’ meaning a woman who likes to attract attention by behaving as if she is sexually interested in people, in a pleasant but not serious way.

The coquette style developed in the late 2010s and resurfaced as a trend adopted among Gen Z social media users in 2023. Common characteristics of coquette style or coquette aesthetic often involve pearls, mini skirts, lace dresses, white or light pink or natural tone, heart prints and ribbon.

The style gives off a soft, innocent, hyper-feminine and light-hearted girly vibe. Young girls, especially those of Gen Z as they love to be ironic and iconic, took it to another level when they began filming items ranging from pearls to pills wrapped with pink bows, along with iconic audio on Tiktok such as a line by Cassie from Europia or songs by Lana del Rey.

Critics say this coquette style is the new 2014 aesthetic style, Lolita. Lolita style was inspired by a Lana del Rey album that was released that year. The artist herself revealed that her music is influenced by Lolita, a novel by the Russian-American novelist, Vladimir Nabokov. Lolita tells the story of an unconventional romantic relationships between a 12-year-old girl and a 36 year-old man. Because of the association with the novel, people have criticised the appropriateness of the Lolita aesthetic and it soon was “cancelled” and went into oblivion.

The Lolita aesthetic and the coquette aesthetic have some characteristics in common, such as the use of a bow and Lana Del Rey’s song as background. That may be why some people the fear that the trend sexualizes or infantilizes women, especially very young girls.

Are these young women unconsciously sexualizing themselves? If not, what is causing young girls to so enjoy the pink bow trend?

On the contrary, most of the pink bow trend contents we are talking about are not sexual at all. What we see here are girls’ belongings. Yes, those that belong to girls. The silky pink ribbon wrap-around is the symbol of ownership. Hyper feminine clothing is not ordered by men to give to women but by women themselves. Not on women but rather on women’s belongings, including their muscular boyfriends, wrapped around with fragile thin ribbon like being kidnapped. Girls’ bodies are much less commonly shown in this trend. Just like Cyndi Lauper said, “Girls just want to have fun.”

Those young girls out there are trying to show that hyper femininity doesn’t mean seeking validation from men (in fact some say that it is not in their concern at all), but rather projecting a sense of feminine power. What we see as soft, sweet and fragile can be so mighty that it can wrap around things and mark their possession. This trend unites girls together and makes them feel as one.

To be seen today, girls don’t need to be masculine. They take what society has shamed for centuries, “femininity”, as an identity of women. And not in a submissive way, either. And not only the pink bow trend; previous trends such as the girl dinner (a trend of girls showing their bizarre dinner, and “girl maths” (another trend about rules or logic applied by only women).

These ongoing trends make a sphere for girls to tell their common stories no matter how tiny and absurd they may seem.

These days, people can always find the spotlight in the world of the internet, and this bow trend is yet another way to present girls’ narrative without the necessity of putting men in the centre.